So I've been in a new area, and I've gotten lost a lot! There are several roads, bi-passes and highways that seem to converge and split off at the same time while google maps is now seemingly run by a stoned, cranky Siri who is about 5 seconds late with the directions. Let me tell you, the anxiety is REAL. Or rather, it was...
At some point in my 5th or 6th wrong turn a few days in, I stopped being so stressed about the destination and started focusing on the moment. Enjoying the view, the sunshine, and trusting that I would eventually get where I needed to go. That my never ending need to control my trajectory really didn't matter and loosening my grip brought more joy than holding tight.
Maybe an epiphany? Or maybe I had a complete and total nervous breakdown and am now just enjoying having all my senses so overloaded that they have caused an endorphin rush I think is 'joy'. It's really anyone's guess.
I've been really lucky in getting to teach for the past few days. I have been using a sentence with the students that is really resonated. "I don't need you to do something perfect, I just need you to try". They are starting to understand that we are here to help them learn something new, and that as long as they try, we will find the answer. That getting something wrong at first is often part of learning.
So a few........many....wrong turns have caused me to see it's ok, because I'm trying. That finding myself lost yet again is just part of the process. I will eventually not need cranky pants Siri and while my ability to reach my destination may never be perfect, I can enjoy the moment until then.